Are you feeding a monster?

Do you consider a subtle disguised critique now and then to be bullying?

Would you consider a colleague’s appreciation for the same work you do to be harassment and object to it?

In our daily employment, we are subjected to a variety of microaggressions from seniors, coworkers, and, on occasion, juniors. Should we ignore them or take action?

Some say, choose your battle and leave the small incidents, Some say, every instance of injustice must be fought. There are merits to both and challenges with both.

There are three sorts of oppression in the workplace.

The most prevalent is verbal. There are several examples of this all around you. Some are cloaked in humor or another, while the majority are blunt. The veiled ones are typically from those with no authority, while the direct ones are from people with authority. Previously, you may hear more aggressive language and loud voices, but they have evolved into a quieter form that is equally, if not more, striking than the loud ones.

Mental: This is similar to silent abuse. You are being ostracized, disregarded, or made to feel insignificant or irrelevant. This hurts more, but you may not have enough proof to show it, making it difficult to report.

Physical: This is uncommon in corporate settings but common in unorganized areas. It occurs in environments where power play is frequent, and regrettably, physical abuse is viewed as a form of power show.

Now coming back to the question, how should you deal with it? Remember if you are not countering it, you are oppressed. Even if you do feel nothing happened but somewhere within you, the other person climbs the power steps and becomes more powerful with every abuse in whichever form it may be.

So you must deal with it but HOW is the question. Not knowing how and leaving it to natural reactions can be detrimental to you in many ways.

There are three ways to react to any kind of offensive statement.

1. Immediate Verbal: Few statements like, “Do you really think so?”, “Ohh, I never thought that way”, and “Can you please tell me more?” or just following the reflection technique to repeat what was told in your own words can turn it into a conversation. You will be seen as equally powerful and hence will be treated likewise. But the challenge is you have to be alert and courageous enough to deal with it as soon as it occurs.
2. Written: If you feel uncomfortable in responding or you missed understanding it at the time it was told, write an email utilizing the above mental hacks in written form.
3. Meeting: It can be done if the ‘Immediate Verbal’ step could not be used due to late realization or lack of courage at that time. Find a time and place devoid of distraction. Explain how you felt after the first conversation. Then ask questions to understand.

But if you chose to remain silent and think it will change over time by doing good work, gaining a reputation, or attaining a higher designation, then good luck to you. You are creating a powerful person in your mind who can bully you anytime. Each time you do not take any action, you are feeding the abuser to become more powerful. Without your realization that person will be governing you and deciding how you must behave. Most of the time the oppressor may not have any idea that you have made that person such a big monster.