From Fear to Success: Lessons Learned in My First Job

“This company believes only in meritocracy; your work is your identity; you need not come to us and tell us what you did well; we are observing everybody’s performance closely, and you will get the reward for your work.”

The president paused. I glanced around at about fifty employees who were intently observing him on the dais, carefully listening to his words. I wondered, how will he know what everybody is doing? Anyway, this was my first job, and I was determined to prove my potential. He spoke about other topics I didn’t understand, but I knew if I worked hard, I’d be noticed.

Finding My Way

Before I could work, I needed to know what I was supposed to do. Every day there were team meetings and serious hallway conversations, but I couldn’t understand what my actual work was. There was one gentleman I never dared talk to—he had a heavy voice and used complicated English words beyond my vocabulary. Since he was close to the manager, I finally asked him, “What is my work?”

He replied, “See, there is a library; go there every day and read any book that has ‘Lab’ in its title and try to understand.”

“Thank you, sir,” I said.

He objected, “Don’t call anyone ‘sir’ here. Use first names.”

I disappeared from his cubicle immediately.

The Fear

I was scared of everyone—the receptionist, security guards, even the office boys. I was terrified of losing the job I’d earned after months of hard effort. Any mistake could get me fired. My poor communication skills were another source of fear. Nobody understood me the first time I said something. I had to repeat myself in various ways to be understood. My accent, pronunciation, and grammar were all problematic. To survive, I kept quiet as much as possible, speaking only when absolutely necessary.

The Presentation

Time passed, and I realized there wasn’t much actual work. I diligently read manuals. Then one day, I received my first assignment from a lead: read a manual (which I’d been doing anyway) and present what I understood.

I read the manual repeatedly, comprehending little. When presentation day came, I stood nervously before my colleagues. For the first few minutes, I forgot why I was there. Then I remembered my preparation and began. Somehow, I got through all the slides.

When it ended, she said, “Okay, good…” paused for a few seconds, then continued, “I would suggest you repeat this next week” before walking out. Others smiled and nodded at me.

Confused, I asked, “Which topic should I present next week?”

She turned back at the door, said “Same,” and left, followed by the others.

Later, passing by some colleagues, I overheard them laughing: “What was that? It’s unclear how these individuals secure employment. They don’t know how to speak English. Good that he was told to repeat the presentation.”

They fell silent when they saw me. I finally understood—I had to repeat because my communication was poor. I realized my inadequate English could cost me my job. Worried, I kept thinking of ways to improve.

New Management

The next morning, the president of India operations called a meeting. I stood in a corner of the meeting room, though seats were available.

The president announced, “Your manager has decided to take a new opportunity with another company. This is crucial timing since we’ve just received our first projects. I’m assigning this responsibility to Mr. Narayan.”

Mr. Narayan stood up and said, “Thank you for this opportunity. I’ll try my best to meet this challenge. Before we leave, I have one announcement to make.” He paused as others leaned in curiously. “I will dissolve all hierarchies. All team members will report directly to me.”

After confirming there were no questions, the president concluded the meeting, and everyone dispersed.

The Projects

Over the next few days, several meetings took place, and we were assigned projects. I worked with two others—Vijay and Vishal—on three projects. No more presentations were expected, but our biggest challenge was working with an unfamiliar programming language. Nobody knew it.

I searched network drives and the internet, eventually finding a helpful website. Vijay and I spent days and nights trying to understand the situation, exploring every possible method to complete the projects. We worked at least 12 hours daily. Soon, we finished the projects.

Vishal was good at talking but rarely involved in the actual work. Other team members spent time complaining about management or trying to impress the manager. I remembered the president’s words—if I worked hard, I would be recognized.

Since Vijay and I were uncomfortable talking to Mr. Narayan, Vishal took responsibility for updating him about our progress. He also asked if we could take on more projects. So while Vijay and I worked, Vishal served as our liaison with management. Of the team’s 16 total projects, we completed 11.

Recognition

Soon, everything changed. The same people who had questioned my hiring now came to me with their problems, publicly appreciating my knowledge and work. I was becoming the team hero. Nobody cared about how I spoke anymore—instead, they tried to understand me. They even volunteered to help improve my communication skills, which I took seriously. Eventually, I could speak fluently and confidently.

The Award Ceremony

One day, we received an announcement about a project completion celebration, mentioning that the best developer and tester would receive the ‘Best Employee Award.’ I was absolutely certain that either Vijay or I would win. Colleagues came to my desk congratulating me in advance—even my former leader who had made me repeat the presentation. I realized that not just me, but everyone believed I had done the best job.

I wore my best clothes to the party. The president praised Mr. Narayan and the team, announcing that more projects were coming our way. I was only interested in the awards.

When award time arrived, the president said, “We are rewarding some members; this doesn’t mean we’re demeaning others’ performance. But the award can go to only one person, so after careful analysis, we decided on the following people.”

I thought, “Others may feel bad, but they should have worked as hard as we did. Just talking and complaining won’t get you an award. You have to put in real effort.”

After some fun awards, it was time for the employee of the year. My heart raced; everything looked hazy. Then I heard, “The award goes to the most promising and hard-working developer, Mr. Vishal.”

I was confused and heartbroken. Had I misheard? But my confusion disappeared when I saw Vishal walk to the dais and accept the award. I was bewildered, angry, and sad. Vijay and I had done everything, working 12-hour days, while Vishal just chatted with people and left at 6 PM.

Then Mr. Narayan took the stage and said, “Vishal worked extremely hard. He kept me updated on project status and helped his other two members get the work done. If this project succeeded, it’s because of Vishal.”

The Lesson

My anger and sorrow remained, but I understood that hard work alone might not pay off. Communication skills mattered too. I needed to let everyone know what I was doing and planning. I had to advocate for myself. Nobody would recognize my worth unless I showed it to others.

I told myself, “Better awards are waiting for me. Good luck.”