“What’s your goal in life?”, A senior student in college asked in a sarcastic tone.
It was ragging time in the college. Yes, ragging was not discouraged with legal tools when I joined engineering college. Neither it was encouraged. Ragging phase were the scariest but most memorable times of all students of that time. We were asked tricky questions and our responses were scrutinised to decide whether we can be relieved from the mental game.
I was asked different mindboggling questions by seniors hoping I will give some funny and witty response to the question. This activity started after reading one of my poetry in Odia which represented feeling of a fresher in college when being ragged. It was humorous and quickly attracted all senior students toward my room. I am sure my roommates did not enjoy the rowdy crowd in our room but I felt better as I was always an attention-seeking child.
When I was asked to tell my ‘goal in life’, I kind of felt stumped. I really never thought about anything beyond today till then and I hated to think so. But I had to answer. So I immediately responded stating, “To understand myself”. Ahh! That stuck to my mind since then and now I realize what a great goal I have chosen. I did respond to many after that more listen-worthy response like to become an entrepreneur, to grow rich etc but I know my heart could never believe anything more than ‘Understanding Myself’.
I find understanding ‘self’ is such a fascinating journey, when I observe myself as a bystander. I see a human body with several characters in it. Strong at times, beyond its imagination and weak at times, for unknown reasons. Full of fun and excitement and watch-worthy in my view.
In order to give justice to my goal in life, I revamped my website to write more in the first person than in the third person. Please go to ‘Stray Thoughts‘ page for the latest article.F
About 8 years ago when I started the blogging journey. I started this website called straydog77.com and the thought that made me start blogging are as below.
About Stray Dog
Writing or Talking about a problem may not solve it or change it. Neither I am writing to change or solve anything. Just expressing my thoughts in writing so that thoughts do not go unrecorded. Now question is, who the hell am I, and how much loss it is going to cause to this civilization if this person’s thoughts go unrecorded.
I always wanted to be Doctor till the time came to appear for ‘Medical Entrance Examination’. Then I wanted to become a ‘Mechanical Engineer‘. I did Mechanical Engineering, completed 4 years course at Indira Gandhi Institute Of Technology. Did not have courage to appear for GATE or CAT. Nobody gave job to a ‘Just’ mechanical engineer. Joined software course, after around 60+ interviews and 36 months a software company considered me for job. So I could not become ‘Mechanical Engineer’ either. All 36 months learnt software languages like ‘Java’ and ‘C++’ but the software company I joined gave me opportunity to work on never heard before language called ‘MUMPS‘. And the same type of work is continuing since last 10+ years.
So from above you can understand that I am a directionless human being. I do not have any aspirations and I live life as life wants me to live. One person becomes directionless when his/her thoughts are not ‘given a thought’ by the same person. So this is an attempt to give a thought to my thought.
Thoughts kept flowing and I started blogging like crazy. Below is how I felt after blogging for few months daily.
Writing blog is such a relaxing and pleasurable act which I realized after I started writing. This is addictive too. I try to find sometime everywhere to write something. The problem is many thoughts come to my mind throughout a day but I can remember some of it while I am in a state to write blog.
Me and my blogs have become a matter of joke among my friends. One such joke was that I will write blog while doing performance appraisal for the year.
Writing is not new for me. I used to write poetries in Odia during my college days, But unlike blogs, I used to scrap them after writing because I was not interested in them after writing. The purpose was writing not reading them. Many of my friends liked some of them and one of my close friend preserved few of it. Not sure if those are still there with him or not.
Again after several years of gap I felt it is time to shape my thoughts in words. Irrespective of whether it is appreciated by others or not. At least I appreciated my thoughts, that was my satisfaction.
Shaping thoughts in words is easier in poetry than in prose because in poetry reader is expected to add some more thought to it but in prose you have to direct the reader on what to think. But the difficulty part in poetry is to have great command over the language. Although in prose you are expected to have command over language too but even if you are not very good at it, reader may understand it but in poetry it is impossible to understand.
Lack of easy software to write Odia and not very good command over English made me stop writing poetries and shift to blogging. But I have no regrets for that. I am enjoying as much as I used to enjoy writing poetries. Incomplete, unbaked, unsolved thoughts are seeing their end point through blogs.
Thoughts kept flowing, blog became very successful. I started living every moment and blogging them made me ensure the time I lived was worth.
“We start every program by doing Vandana to Allah, Bhagawan or Jesus. We pray the mother nature and audiences whose existence makes everything happen. We pray the source of energy which motivates us, inspires us, helps us initialize, helps in the act and also helps us give the finishing touch. This is as per our tradition” a popular Bengali band Dohar said this before starting their performance at Open air amphitheater at Sayaji Baug. An amazing environment and excellent performance. They mostly sing Baul songs and use only traditional Indian musical instruments.
Thanking the source of inspiration, thanking the readers and thanking god for creating this environment is such a wonderful practice that almost every cultural activity in Bharat starts with. I never thought of it till date. How could I miss thanking all. Hence I came with this “Bandana” page.
I am novice in the field of blogging and I am intending to continue this passion forever. I came to this bloggers world assuming I am alone walking in a lonely lane. Walked for miles and then found some fireflies. I was scared and not sure whether I will be able to walk forward or not. Darkness and sound of silence was scary enough to step forward then these fireflies added to my scare. Then I dared to catch one. Surprisingly it transformed into a big glow of light. I was shocked to see this transformation. Then I could see a big ocean of knowledge behind the glow. That firefly was none other than another blogger who writes since last several years with knowledge and thoughts which are several hundred times more powerful than mine. I was overjoyed and I came running to that dark lane to walk further. I thank that blogger for inspiring me by reading my blogs, writing powerful comments and showing me some direction.
There were many butterflies on my way too. They came sat on my nose and tickled me here and there. I caught one of them too. They transformed to some genuine readers, Who usher me with some sweet comments in my blog to make me believe as long as there is simplicity in life, complexities can be avoided. I thank them for giving me importance for being a normal human being.
There were many who peeped at me, read halfway through, could not connect upon reading, did not dislike but could not like too. I thank them for their attention. As long as they are there I will keep on writing.
Walking on this lane made me away from my family for couple of hours day. They sat there and waited for me to come back. They not only waited there but cheered and inspired me to continue my walk. I thank them for their time and patience.
Nothing in these blogs are original and can ever be original. Everything coming from life, living beings and dead objects. They have already scripted and it is me who just read it with my limited knowledge. I can not survive without thanking them because I survive as they exist.
Every gratitude is incomplete unless I thank Bhagawan, Allah, Jesus, Wahe guru and whoever resembles my representation of supreme spirit for transmitting energy, power, thought through me. This includes my parents.