Hate – A journey defined

“How can he do that? Neither it is ethical nor beneficial to anybody including himself. He is not realizing how much harm he is doing to his own image. I hate him. The moment I see him I feel like finding an opportunity to beat him up and show the entire world how bad he is.”, Rishabh said.

Silence prevailed in the tea shop where Samar and Rishabh are sitting.This was an unusual situation as there were nobody in the tea shop when it is pouring like cats and dogs. Usually at the sound of rain, employees take their raincoats and umbrellas out and come for couple of sips of hot tea. Gossip about office along with some fries (Bhajia) makes it spicy and interesting. But today it was unusual. Samar and Rishabh were alone in the tea shop and it was not just a friendly discussion about office matters but a concern which could decide Rishabh’s career ahead.

“He just went and told my teammates not to trust me and lied about me. My teammates are my friends more than anybody else. They will not believe such crap. Now he becomes my manager. I can’t accept this. How a person with such qualities gets recognized year after year. Can nobody see the reality? It’s so evident.” Rishabh kept on sharing his frustration.

Samar despite having several advices for Rishabh, kept quiet. He wanted Rishabh to take every frustration out. It is evident that there is a hatred factory at the center of Rishabh’s mind which was producing thousands of hatreds as per ‘Hate unit”. These outputs were working as input for the factory and multiplying the output every time. There is no end to it. His body started getting affected now and he was shivering. His eyes were red and his voice started shaking.

After sometime Rishabh stopped speaking. Samar thought this is the right time to speak.

“I agree with your every point. I understand your feelings. May be I would have been reacting the way you are reacting at the moment but Rishabh this is reality.

Have you seen how much harm you are doing by just thinking about this incidence in last 15 minutes. Your body is showing you negativity.”, Samar said.

Samar is trying to be careful because Rishabh is not ready to accept anything as justification for the mistakes the guy in concern did. He hates him and it is harmful to try to justify his actions because this may make Rishabh start disbelieving Samar.

“Your life and your career is run based on your decisions not others. At every moment you have choice. Don’t bind your success or failure with people other than you. They may influence your success or failure but can’t because of it without your assistance. It does not matter whether the person is your manager, wife or anybody. It’s the job of losers who try to find a person to tag their failures and remove all tags during success. A winner does exactly opposite. Failure is a personal matter and success is a group activity. Starting from your first walk till your last promotion was a group activity. Many people were involved in crafting that success along with you. But unfortunately all the failures that you have got till date are just yours. So think about self and self control than anybody else.”, Samar said.

Rishabh has calmed down by then. He was out of super-hatred mode. He continued to keep his head down and listen to Samar.

“This is not unnatural to hate people and this hatred keeps increasing unless you attend them time to time. There are situation where you will hate people. I am not saying that they don’t have selfish motives but still you are not able to see the complete picture at once. It’s because lot’s of information that reached you might have been manipulated (may be a little) and most did not reach you yet. I would advice you speak to him directly and share your concerns.”, Samar advised.

“I can’t! I hate him so much that I can’t look at him and still be nice”, Rishabh said.

“Have you observed your kids? Do you remember the last time you stopped your daughter from doing something that she loves? When she protested you were harsh and ordered her to just listen to you, without spending much time to explain why you want her not to do that? Don’t you think she would have been extremely upset with you and may be hated you for a while. But when you came back from office at the end of the day, she still came running towards you with the same pace to give you a tight hug. Have you ever thought how did she forget that incidence.”, Samar kept on questioning.

“You remember the other day you were upset in office because you had slapped your son for behaving extremely unruly at a restaurant and he didn’t like to talk to you for a while. But you explained how he forgot this incidence and made a beautiful father’s day card for you just the next morning.”, Samar said.

“It’s not because you are their father. They forgive and forget every negative as well as positive incidence. May be the brain given to humans are not to store these but just to store knowledge. Due to huge amount of empty space in our brain we capture people and incidences as well, in place of just learning. It’s time to take people and incidences out and just keep the learning I guess. May be meditation can help here.”, Samar said and looked at Rishabh.

Rishabh was looking normal and was looking at Samar. He was smiling thinking about his kids and various other incidences other than just what Samar reminded.

“How kids forget man? It’s amazing. Being childlike, innocent is very tough. I would rather say impossible. But I would definitely try. Your suggestion to do meditation is a good option. I will try. Thanks Samar”, Rishabh said.

“Don’t forget the basis at which you are reacting today is because somebody got the power and you heard some statements which needs validation.Your visibility is low and you have a huge storage of assumptions. This is kind of a imaginary situation and not the reality. Remember, power does not give you the strength, utilizing it or not utilizing it does gives you the strength. It is sometimes better for time to take it’s natural course than we trying to act before time.”, Samar said.

Rishabh although not 100% convinced but was much better. He made an agreement with himself to start it all over again and stop the loss making hatred factory.

Namaste!!!

– Stray Dog