Year 2000, I was standing with my friend Kallol and Deepak in front of one beautiful building at J.P.Nagar 5th Phase Bangalore and dreaming of buying one such house one day. Then we laughed at each other for this wild dream. We were on our way back to the room where we were staying. Building was beautiful no doubt but more than that our need for luxury was much more than that. We used to sleep on the floor by putting old news papers because the floor was damp. We used to walk for not less than 10 Kilometers a day to submit our resumes at every software company that was reachable by walk and We had bus pass for rest of the places. Our appetite supported our situation and we used to feel less hungry. Our dreams were very high as per that situation.
We wanted to work for a software company where there will be air-conditioner in the office, nice chairs and no need to walk long miles to get something. No weather can affect us as we will be working in a luxurious building. There will be beverages available free and we will be treated respectfully all the time.
We also were determined to prove the world that we are up to something if given a chance. Dreams were not unachievable but difficult to feel that we can ever achieve them. One and half year had already passed since we graduated and family and relatives had lost most of the hope they had on us. Repeated failures made us accustomed to face the eyes of all around us. ‘Looser’, was the most suitable word for us then.
Then sudden changes and click of luck changed the entire situation in moments. Our dream was far behind than what the reality was.
Today, after 12+ years I often question myself to know my desire, dream and matter of excitement. But I do not find such intense desire in me as it was 12 years back. I do not think I have changed much in these years but my hunger has gone down. My thirst often gets quenched without much effort. Things I dream of are almost there around somewhere. Have I achieved everything? Not at all. I have not raised my expectations much because I do not like to fail now days. I do not like to fail because I fear to go down from where I am now. That was not the case 12 years back.
Now question is, why do I fear now to go down? It is because I feel many are dependent on me and only me, I feel I have the right to enjoy the fruit for the hard work once I did, I fear to put the same amount of effort what I did in past. But truth is all these are my fears and all these are myths. This world will survive without me, I have the ability to reinvent the wheel and this is not the time or age to relax.
Now it’s up to me to think of my new dream and it need not be materialistically higher than what I have now but must be something which I can’t dare to dream that one day I will achieve.
Have you got such dream for yourself?
Namaste!!!
– Stray Dog
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Touches all hungry men!!