“Beta, Can you get me one glass of water Please?”, Rohit asked Ved after returning home tired and exhausted. He had a tough day at office. There were no response from Ved. Ved was busy watching a song competition on Doordarsan. When Rohit requested again, Ved said, “You get it yourself! I am busy”. Rohit got up to get the glass of water rather than showing his frustration to Ved. This has become a regular activity.
Rohit was pretty disappointed by the way things are progressing. His son’s open disobedience was gradually becoming public. Rohit is now a Director in a software company and he preaches his employees how to conduct with customers, with each other and build a respectful work environment but his home environment is shattered. He is now 43 years old. He was one of the most dynamic young man at his time. He used to possess all latest technological innovations available in market, have the most wildest fun with friends, “Do not Care!!!” attitude in every cell. His focus was only to earn money by any means. He had no other noble reason to work. When his friends or seniors told him to focus on learning rather than just going behind money, he showed them the way to ‘Sanskar’ channel. He told them, if you want to preach, preach there in those channels so that I can choose not to watch that channel. This continued till his 30s.
Then accidentally he met with some friends who were equally smart and lover of latest technological innovations but had enormous amount of knowledge about various aspects of life. He met them and understood how powerful Vedas, Upanishads are. He read various books written by Bharatiya as well as Foreign authors. Then he started reading other religious books and his life took a new turn. He realized the importance of life and the ultimate happiness that spirituality can give despite doing your own day to day work. He gradually gave up all his bad habits and spent every time available in reading and understanding. He got married and had a son. He thought, he wasted his 30 years in doing nothing, he promised to make his son the most successful person in this world. He promised to make Bharat as a prosperous country. He thought, he must take the first step. He named his son as Ved. Since childhood he taught him the importance of human values though various stories. He did not let his son go to regular school and let him study in Vedic Vidyalaya in a small village of Kerala. He was taught Vedas, Upanishads thoroughly. He was taught Modern subjects and Kalari Pattayu martial art. Gradually that school was gaining popularity abroad and looking at foreigners many Indian parents started sending them to this school.
Then an unfortunate super cyclone completely uprooted the Vedic school not only physically but from.peoples mind because the Pradhan Shashtri of of that school was badly hurt and later died due to the super cyclone. There were nobody to restart it and there were hardly handful of parents willing to take risk one more time. So Ved had to come back and join some so called main stream schools. This was a disappointment for Rohit but Ved was very happy because he always wanted to study in a school where there are big buildings, modern facilities, dance class where students dance in latest music, Girls and Boys study together and become friends, students joke on teachers, modern play grounds etc.
Although Rohit accepted that Ved has to study in this CBSE school but Ved was not at all accepted well in his school. He was a matter of joke for his pure and clear Hindi. Ved was not able to understand most of the words that his fellow students using. He had no access to different channels because in his earlier school TV was not there and only Doordarsan and Discovery channel are accessible at home. He was treated like one alien from a funny planet. Nobody became his friend initially. He was mostly attracted towards the schoolmates who were having all fun no study. He finally made some friends who were the most spoiled kids of the school. He was finding it very difficult to understand what teachers are saying due to their hinglish communication and none in his friend circle were capable of helping him. His father was against private tuitions and did not have time to teach himself. Ved failed in standard 7, the first examination that he appeared in this new school. Many questions raised and many consolations came from all around. But Ved found it extremely embarashing and could not think of blaming anybody than his Father Rohit, for making him unfit in this world.
Rohit was very upset because he never expected to receive these kind of responses from his son. His belief that if right kind of education given to children at early age then nobody can stop that child becoming the most successful in all aspects has weakened. He thought, he will never let his child get exposed to any kind of negatives. He refrained him from listening, watching music or movies of ugly taste. He never let his child eat any toxic or bad food. He tried his best to give the best education available on this earth. But he has grown up as the worst person he would like to see. He has heard from his friends that Ved has started smoking, drinking alcohol, eve-teasing, watching adult video’s etc. Once he caught Ved sitting on a bench in front of a Pan shop behind his school and passing dirty comments towards the girls and their parents waiting outside the gate. He slapped Ved on the spot and brought him home. Stopped him from going anywhere.
Rohit, upset and frustrated, successful in profession but unsuccessful in life did not know what his next step should be. He met his friend, philosopher and guide Mohan. Mohan although very young in age but has a better realistic view about life. He is one of the smartest guy in Rohit’s view in this world. Mohan sympathized Rohit and suggested him to just forget about all bad qualities that Ved has developed. He requested Rohit to give enormous love and support to Ved. He said, “Rohit Bhai, Nobody is good when he/she is unhappy and nobody is bad when he/she is happy. Make him happy so that he is in a condition to listen. Help him in success because that will help him develop confidence. Remove the restrictions from Television and others, so that he feels that he is free to choose. Most importantly do not let him know that you are trying to help him in any way because he will reject that because his teen age he can not accept the fact that he is weak. Send him to my house for Tuition, I will teach him as you do not have time.”. Rohit did the same. Ved was topper in 8th Standard and then on. Nobody could beat him in studies nor in extra curricular activities. He was master in all aspects.
When Rohit asked Mohan how this happened so easily. Mohan said, “You had laid the foundation but forgot to build the house. You taught him values and principles to become a ideal as well as successful man. He believed you. But when he was exposed to real world he found himself unfit in this world. He tried to fit himself by any means, and you did not help him in that process. His behavior was due to failure and unhappiness in his mind. He is in his teens so there are many other weird emotions come at this time. He just needed to be kept happy, confident and free to become successful. I just helped him understanding the subjects that are taught in school and found he has learnt most of it, by himself. I gave him the confidence that he is much more knowledgeable than his classmates due to his former education. The day he believed all these he found his own way.”
Just making the decision to do something good and enforcing them on your children may cause more harm than good. Keeping your children blindfolded from the current society will make the child blind when he is exposed to reality. But just letting them go and follow the same mad rush, which others are following is equally dangerous. You can not demolish the existing system and build a new one from scratch. This is not easy at all. You have to get yourself into the system and change it for good being within the system. A system may be bad but can not be completely bad. So we have to focus on changing the bad to good and making the good as better. Just doing good and being good will not give any guarantee that only good things will happen to you. You have to make the good things happen to you by using your wit and knowledge. Just putting restrictions may not change anything. Realization or awareness can. So it is important to put more efforts in developing awareness, helping realize than restricting.
– Stray Dog
One thought on “Dilemma”
“Just putting restrictions may not change anything. Realization or awareness can. So it is important to put more efforts in developing awareness, helping realize than restricting….”
Good one. Great message